• Muzzies MUZic
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    Mr Muz


    Saturday, January 31, 2009
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    okay...

    now i really think there is something wrong with me... for the past few day i have been really sleepy all the time... for the first time in years i slept in class the other day...adn yesterday azim waited outside my house for quite a long time before the dog woke me up.. haha... in a constant state of drowsiness...didnt manage to see doctor today... went with my folks to see houses at yew mei green... used to like that place alot.. but now not really looking forward to shift there... the common rooms are so small! i want to stay HDB! but mother is quite keen on shifting to a private...

    today tried a phyco father to let me stay in the hdb then they stay condo... unsuccesful=( he wants the family to stay together... then wanna rent out the HDB... aaaarrrhhhh! dont even think the room can fit my bed!

    okay that aside today didnt really do much... cleared a few school reports i had to write... phew... its quite taxing to write non-stop... but got one lucky break... cuz i also had to write a phycology and councelling report... so i just edited the text from my last post into a third party view in proper english... HAHA....save time...

    today is a sad day... dearest left for switzerland today... she msned me this morning... but i was kinda busy... so briefly talked to her... she seems pretty happy to be going to a foreign land... so i guess thats good... she is on the plane now... so you better call me when you reach!

    k ba... i wanna go to bed now...

    cheers!




    Mr Muz<3

    5:40 AM

    Thursday, January 29, 2009
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    okay i know it as late and i have school tml.. but just wanna write about this...

    today abit boliao.. so searched my name on google...
    then found the old blog i shared with my ex...

    spent a few hours reading it...
    it is pretty interesting to read what went wrong a few years back...
    things i can conclude:

    i have changed alot... and sad to say not for the better... think i pretty much gone downhill from there... it got to a point where it is pretty depressing to read...

    been trying to contact the person for the last month or so... but no replies to my SMS's so i guess i will leave it there...
    this few days have been reflecting on the past year or so... trying to see where i gone wrong...
    next week i have a huge case to fight... which i am sorta looking forward to in a very very sick way... kinda scares me in fact...

    saw the old photos and it really hit me how much i changed... the spirit of my eyes look so very different...i seem to have aged and withered...

    i have been seeing a monk for the last week... trying to get some answers about my life..i am really unhappy with certain things in my life...

    the other day talked to uncle eric... he painted a very very morbid picture of the world... im not sure im looking forward to adulthood now....
    i tend to learn lessons the hard way... maybe cuz im so very stubborn and always think im right..
    after last week i sorta see my life a lil clearer now...


    yesterday went jurong point with ming kok... had dinner and watched a movie...
    and guess who served us... chia yilin! my long lost cousin.. haha.. it was quite a pleasant surprise actually...enjoyed the movie...though most of the things i have done before.. so it kinda opened up the old scars...

    health hasnt been good lately... tml i'll go hospital for a check up..
    basically my hands have been shivering and i am constantly out of breath...

    family is shifting out soon... dad kinda figured that i didnt like the house...
    painted my whole room green... but it didnt seem to cover the old memories..
    okay i am not emo.. just in a very vulnerable stage in my life...
    caught in the middle of adulthood and childhood..

    not a nice place to be in...

    the truth is that since the day it started going down hill( which is a few years back)
    not a day has gone by where i never thought about it...
    its really crippling me... i need answers...

    i lost the ability to show my affection in human ways... is there something wrong with me?
    the truth is i have really only had 2 relationships which i took seriously... the first was shot down by my parents for very practical reasons...well geography,history and social studies to be exact(if you know what i mean).. the second i screwed up myself by having a combination of high expectations and fundamental incompatibility.. which is pretty sad cuz i knew before committing that we were not compatible... after that relationship, it was the old Amoz all the way... something which i really hope will change... i always thought i was a master self-control..but y is it when i think of you i feel this great sense of guilt and despair?
    did i fall in love for the first time? and is it the only time which i really loved and cared for someone? why did i screw it up just because of my own laziness?

    i am determined to make the next one work... and i know that you are the one... probably the only girl that i have been really impressed with... i just hope geography and history wont be a huge obstacle to climb...

    the latest season of skins just came out... all the cast changed except for effy... the cast is much younger now... not sure i should watch it... watching the last 2 seasons really affected my perception of life... and im not sure it will do any good to me...

    i am just really lost...




    Mr Muz<3

    9:55 AM

    Sunday, December 21, 2008
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    well i finally got some sleep!
    havent slept in 2 days....

    well lets recap...
    azim fetched me to century to meet dexter for billiard... azim is a pretty nice guy.... talks exactly like youtong... hahaha....

    played a round of billiard with dexter... then went downstairs to meet sharon and yilin... went to play pool with them... it was pretty funny watching sharon play pool...played until 3.. then went down to brewerks... but it was closed, so we went to 302 for a couple of beers and a very very long chit chat session... me n dex just sit there hear them talk... pretty interesting topics covered though....

    then we all went to my place to 'rest'.
    tried to get some sleep but its pretty hard when u have 4 ppl on a queen sized bed
    so we end up chatting on the bed until around 8...
    then we played mahjong...30c-60c... so funny la... i practicly won all their money... until all were sort of pennyless... dunno y my form was so good... but didnt collect the money...
    played until around 3pm...

    then we tried to catch some sleep again... but i didnt manage to.... at 4 dex left cuz he had a wedding.... so we 3 were left.... It was sooo much easier to sleep la! slept until around 5.. then we woke up.. all showered and then went for dnner...

    had 'cooked grass' at limbang... then at around 8 we went down to NUH... waited soooo freaking long for a bloody blood test... in the end buai tahan... so yilin told off the doctor... in the process managing to get 2 days mc =.= dexter reached and we left for clementi kbox.... sharon keep on replaying a song... so funny la! she keep on asking me how to sing... so i tried... dont think she gets the hang of breathing.. HAHAHA.... but nevertheless she was very cute.... from 11 sang until around 2...

    when we were about to leave derest CB called me... she sounded very diff...clearly she was pretty upset with certain things... so talked on the phone with her until my phone went dead...

    after slacking a while we fetched the 2 girls home... then we went home ourselves...

    now im gonna go to dexters place to meet him and vishal... then will go down to register for licence....

    cheers...





    i dont think its the right time for you to be engaged with someone else... its not right... and i've done this kinda thing before... its a pretty haunting task to face ur friends...you should take sometime to consider your options then get back to me...




    Mr Muz<3

    10:41 PM

    Monday, December 15, 2008
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    Ok,


    Here’s my new blog… killed the last one cuz didn’t really want to write in that one anymore… so ade! You can stop spamming that blog! Hahaha.. oh ya… I wanna add something really clear… what I type here is not vetted or checked… its purely what goes through my mind…. So if I offend anyone… OOPs.. but no apologies…

    Well the past few months have been pretty stagnant… nothing much really happened… quite nice having a state of calm… got back to the same class as year one… but the class vibe is a lil different… dunno y… isn’t as happy as before…



    Im gonna skip what happened for the past few months…

    Well its 7 am now…

    Yesterday:

    Woke up at around 2, then went to school to do some stuff…

    then went for a meeting…

    After that went for a nice relaxing facial…

    after that went for another meeting…


    went home to watch my Top Gear while chatting with Jian… Their breakup is pretty sad…


    around 8 went to clementi kbox to celebrate Bing En’s 23rd birthday… lets see who was there.. there was bing en, dexter, sharon, her friend, bing en’s brother and me… sang until 11.30…

    after that we all took cabs to town… we went to a thai pub n disco… met a whole bunch of Bing En’s army friends.. pretty nice chaps… quite surprised bing en mix around with nice chaps… around 1am bing en got pretty drunk…his friends pretty much killed his night… heng he is a stoner drunk… that’s when I learnt that Sharon is only 14! My god… felt pretty bad… but oh well, she’s the havoc type.. so no biggy…


    sharon’s friend is diff case… she is shake head drunk.. haha…. Constantly shaking her head…. Pretty comical…. That is when I decided to hype things up… tipped one of the hot thai girls a hundred bucks to show dex a good time… Its quite funny seeing dex work with women… but she was hooker sweet.. So it was pretty alright… so end up I dance a lil while, spilling my drink all over the floor… then came the funny bit… I accidentally burnt a guys sleeve with my cig… lucky he never notice.. Hahahaha



    around 3 we left…

    reach home watch Martha and ET

    then now im blogging while waiting for my sister to wake up to have a chat….



    That’s about all….


    Oh ya…. If I don’t blog til Saturday its becuz im going off to Melaka today…having a road trip with the whole family… alright that’s about it…


    Chow!






    Mr Muz<3

    4:14 PM


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    Mr Muz<3

    4:08 PM